Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I have complete contempt for fakery

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

How many wishes do people get on their birthday?

I can count

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

What is the best way to get over your ex?

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

How long will it take Christian president-elect Donald J. Trump to restore our nation's moral values?

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

What makes you think that former U.S. President Donald Trump's legal team has already been laying the groundwork for an appeal in the hush money trial?

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I understand how hurricane paths work

Are there any examples of outdated values in the Bible?

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

Anycubic has yet another sale happening, and the 3D printer I own is $200 off - Creative Bloq

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

What is the difference between the Bible and the Qur'an?

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I don’t cotton to rapists

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

How long can someone with narcissistic tendencies maintain a facade of fake love before their true self is revealed? Is there a specific trigger or amount of time that causes them to reveal their true nature?

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I have a reading level above third grade

How does gut health affect mental well-being?

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I can read

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

‘Cheers’ star George Wendt’s cause of death confirmed - New York Daily News

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

Who is the most dangerous or evilest person of all time?

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

A runway under construction at Newark's beleaguered airport reopens early - NPR

I don’t buy bullshit

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

Elizabeth Warren Pushes Fed to Reinstate Wells Fargo’s Asset Cap - Barron's

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I actually pay taxes

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I see through liars

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”